Trying BDSM for the first time

Sexualization of modern pop culture and the publishing of intriguing readings like ’’50 Shades of Grey’’ have done a brilliant job exposing the public to the once underground world of sex and bondage. The images of hard-core erotica, skin-tight leather, and carnal torment in secretly dark rooms may seem overly brutal, but it’s that and much more. 

BDSM is the remedy to dull sex, putting the flavor and excitement back into relationships using untamed pleasure… and sometimes pain. Whatever you and your lover can handle. 

If the thought of being strapped to a bedpost, talking filthy in the ear of your blindfolded lover, or giving blushing ass cheeks a hard deserving spanking gets you throbbing, you might be at the beginning of your journey to rule and authority. 

What exactly is BDSM?

BDSM is an acronym that describes a special culture of sexual role-play. A struggle of power using direction, control, and toys to assert positions of power versus resignation. 

B is for Bondage. 

D is for Dominance and Discipline.

S is for Submissiveness and Sadism. 

M is for masochism. 

The experience can range from light and fun to extreme and strict, all depending on what gets you off. Use hot candle wax, cuffs, or humiliation to stimulate your partner and yourself. Don’t be afraid to dive into the taboo to create sexy personas and discover your private kink.

Dominant or submissive: Which role should I play?

BDSM is about power dynamics, so you need to decide which part tickles your fancy. Dominance is about utter self-confidence and control. Doms are the firm hand that provides order. Those that get aroused by taking the lead and delivering harsh punishment to the naughty might want to take this role on. 

Alternatively, people that get horny from the thought of being told what to do and exactly how to do it could be submissive. The sub is expected to yield to the commands of their Dom or suffer the consequences.

Remember, real-life characteristics do not have to match the bedroom fantasy.  A boss at work could want to be cuffed and bound at home. A meager personality might feel the need to slap his or her partner a few times to reclaim their assertiveness. Anything is possible, and roles can be switched at any time. Keep communication strong and open to determine which part is best to compliment all players involved. 

Are collars necessary?

A collar is worn around the neck of a submissive. It is a very commonly used device with various functions, typically made from leather, lace, or cloth. They symbolize ownership by a Dom. Collars can be utilized to pull a sub around like an animal. And some just appreciate the aesthetic of the piece as a kinky decoration set with cool metal loops. 

Nothing is necessary or set in stone when it comes to great sex, but using sex tools like chokers are desirable props to catapult regular coitus into full-blown amazing fucking.

Moreover, collars also play a significant role, especially for couples who have an insatiable kink for BDSM. Most of them satisfy their desires through https://lovegasm.co/collections/bdsm-collar. So, make sure that you keep the spark within your relationship as you go through the list of products we offered just for you.

The key is to break out of the monotonous by pushing boundaries and learning about your fantasy scenarios. Do things you never thought you could. Wear things you never thought you would. Try everything you once considered freaky and enjoy every moment. You don’t need a collar, but it’s an excellent start and simply a window into many other tricks in the BDSM bag. 

What else can you try? 

Now that you’ve been introduced to BDSM, you can dig through the kinky box and explore what toys and kinds of play will get your rocks off. There is so much more than cuffs and collars.

Bondage: physically restraining a sub using chains, ties, rope, and binds. 

Wax play: using candles and hot wax to stimulate a lover’s skin. 

Sensory deprivation: restricting the use of one or more of a partner’s senses (sight, touch, taste, hearing, or smell) to heighten the sensitivity of the rest of the body. 

Impact Sensory: pleasure achieved from being hit or striking others; spanking using a hand, flogger, or whips.

Chastity: preventing intercourse, masturbation, and sexual gratification, generally with devices such as belts, cages, locks, and keys. 

It all sounds extreme, but if orgasm is the prize, punishment is definitely worth the reward. Try it all and see what works. If you like it, do more. Go harder. If not, consider slowing down.

Making BDSM sex comfortable.

BDSM is about pushing the limits of the pleasure/pain threshold. Experimentation is involved, and sometimes things can go too far. It’s important to have a pre-designed system of code to let your partner know if you aren’t enjoying the game you are playing.

Respect and consent are always requirements to a sexual relationship, even if activities involve humiliation or violence. Everyone must be a willing participant to make it work. Never play a role simply to please your partner if those actions are causing unwanted emotional or physical harm. Talk to each other and make clear what you need and expect.

Take care of each other afterward

Aftercare is an important element that many people neglect. After you orgasm, you might want to roll over and fall asleep or even walk away. It’s over, right? 

Not really. 

Like most sexual encounters, BDSM is a very mental process. The sexiest experience requires an emotional connection. We are human beings with different psychological needs and situations. So help your partner feel just as wonderful after they climax. 

If necessary, tend to the time it takes coming out of character. Assist each other out of any confining clothing, gadgets, or compromising situations. Enjoy cleaning up. Discuss what was great and not so great. Be considerate to ensure you and your counterpart have nothing but dirty thoughts and stay eager to revisit your new sensual escapades over and over again.